Give us some oats, or we'll shoot you.
There are two groups of Doctor Who fans; those who have watched The Twin Dilemma, and those who have not. For those who have watched it; what can one say? I can rant and rave about how miserable of a story it is, and why it is sooooo bad, but to be honest, you probably know all of it anyways, and I have nothing new to tell you, in this respect. We all know it's bad, and we all know why it's bad. To those who haven't watched it; you are not going to understand very well what The Twin Dilemma is all about until you have actually watched it. You might have heard about it, friends might have described what happens in it, but you will not understand until you watch it. It is considered the worst Doctor Who story of all time, but this does not tell the whole story. I have watched The Web Planet, The Underwater Menace, The Time Monster, Creature from the Pit, and Warriors from the Deep, and absolutely none of those prepared me for what I experienced watching The Twin Dilemma. However, if you are that much of classic Doctor Who fan, and you feel required to watch it, I would suggest taking a prep-course to prepare you for the agony that you will be sure to experience. It won't perfectly prepare you for the real thing, but it might definitely soften the blow. Since I have already seen the dratted thing, I now feel obligated to pass my knowledge on and warn any travelers who dare enter into the dark and lawless realm that is The Twin Dilemma. Here are some things you need to be aware of...
1) If this was a Peter Davidson story, it wouldn't be the worst story of all time. This is not to say The Twin Dilemma in and of itself is not a bad story (it is), but to say the production, narrative, and writing (well, actually take the writing back) are "worst story ever" material is not really accurate, in my personal opinion. What makes this a bad story is....well, I'll tell you later. I am convinced that if it were a Peter Davison story, it would have nowhere near as bad a reputation as it does now. Sure, it's no Caves of Androzani, and it is still pretty bad either way; the twins are terrible actors, Peri is lusted after by an alien hermaphrodite slug, and everyone involved looks like they're dressed more appropriately to go clubbing at an 80s night establishment rather than, well, whatever their character is supposed to be doing. However, if Davison were in this story, its value would immediately rise. Would it still be bad? Absolutely! Legendary bad and worst Doctor Who story ever? Not on your life! Be prepared for a stinky story, but the real kicker, and what makes this story what it is today is that..
2) The Doctor is horrifically bad. I really can't put this in harsh enough terms. If you've read my blog concerning Peri, you will already know how I feel about her character. However, when a new Doctor comes along, you expect something refreshing and new; it is something to be excited about. Unfortunately, Colin Baker falls flat on his face in his debut; he does not put in a good acting performance, and the writing he is asked to work with is beyond unbelievable. The writers for this story, to put it lightly, go completely insane. The Sixth Doctor comes out of his regeneration acting like a madman, doing anything and everything the writers can think of, or so it seems. It is so wild and pointless, that Baker comes across as forcing everything, which alienates the audience, as well as Peri herself. What's the point of having Baker act stoic, angry, confused, rude, and philosophically content ten times over all in the same scene? Where's the payoff in having the Doctor trying to strangle Peri? It is so astounding, it is almost surreal; I almost couldn't believe I was watching what I was watching. Give me a boring story, give me a story that has plot loopholes, but don't give me this.
To cap the whole thing off, Baker finishes the serial by saying, "I am the Doctor, whether you like it or not". Excuse me......what?? First of all, this remark somehow invokes a smile out of Peri, which then the Doctor smiles back at, which makes no sense (Why does she smile? Is it funny? What is going on?), and is just as confusing as about everything else in this story. But the main kicker is the quote itself. He says it to Peri as if almost to say at the audience, "Piss off, all you haters. No matter how much you hate me as the Doctor, and no matter how much you want me off the show, you are going to have to deal with my smug arrogant face every week for TWO whole seasons. TWO of 'em!! Read 'em and weep, suckers!!"
To cap the whole thing off, Baker finishes the serial by saying, "I am the Doctor, whether you like it or not". Excuse me......what?? First of all, this remark somehow invokes a smile out of Peri, which then the Doctor smiles back at, which makes no sense (Why does she smile? Is it funny? What is going on?), and is just as confusing as about everything else in this story. But the main kicker is the quote itself. He says it to Peri as if almost to say at the audience, "Piss off, all you haters. No matter how much you hate me as the Doctor, and no matter how much you want me off the show, you are going to have to deal with my smug arrogant face every week for TWO whole seasons. TWO of 'em!! Read 'em and weep, suckers!!"
3) Without a good Doctor and companion, this story isn't good enough to carry itself. This is perhaps similar to my first point, but it bears repeating. Neither the Doctor, with his absurd dialogue, nor Peri, with her poor acting skills can carry this story. And what happens when you have a bad Doctor and a bad companion in a Doctor Who story? You guessed it; you get a really bad story. All the other elements of the story don't get the benefit of the doubt because you're so bothered that your main character dresses like a clown, and your supporting actress is mostly there for sex appeal. This is why I brought up Peter Davison; he bring the exact opposite effect. Because we, as an audience, believe in his character, we would be much less likely to be bothered that Amazel has a slug- killing potion hanging around, but has never bothered to use it, or that the twins are supposed to be mathematical geniuses, but one of them speaks with a lisp. There's absolutely nothing in this story to be excited about, and having a bad Doctor and bad companion just makes it that much worse. That's why The Twin Dilemma is the worst Doctor Who story of all time.
Well, hopefully that was educational and didn't come across too much as ranting; it is very hard not to when one talks of The Twin Dilemma. If you are a hardcore Doctor Who fan, and you really want to watch this story, I would say go ahead (because that's what I did), but if you are anything less than a die-hard fan, I would say avoid it. This story destroy so much of one's image and aura of the Doctor that it's hard not to be disgusted with it, and I can almost imagine people in the 1980s turning off their tv sets in the hundreds in bewilderment at what was happening. This story plus Attack of the Cybermen were the beginning of the end for Doctor Who as a series so really steel yourself and be prepared for the things I mentioned above if you do decide to watch it. Next time, I will probably be talking about Vengence on Varos or maybe even The Two Doctors. Until then!
Well, hopefully that was educational and didn't come across too much as ranting; it is very hard not to when one talks of The Twin Dilemma. If you are a hardcore Doctor Who fan, and you really want to watch this story, I would say go ahead (because that's what I did), but if you are anything less than a die-hard fan, I would say avoid it. This story destroy so much of one's image and aura of the Doctor that it's hard not to be disgusted with it, and I can almost imagine people in the 1980s turning off their tv sets in the hundreds in bewilderment at what was happening. This story plus Attack of the Cybermen were the beginning of the end for Doctor Who as a series so really steel yourself and be prepared for the things I mentioned above if you do decide to watch it. Next time, I will probably be talking about Vengence on Varos or maybe even The Two Doctors. Until then!